Guests today value experiences over materialism. They also want to feel like an individual, as if they’re valued and cared about wherever they choose to spend their money.

If you’re able to tap into these emotions and make your guests feel this way, they will be coming back to you.

"Your product derives value, but it is the experience that you create for your guests that keeps them coming back."

Emotions are so powerful. They are what people remember and what drives them to behave in a particular way.

In this case, you want your customer’s emotions to bring them back to you time and time again. And you want them to recommend your business to all of their friends, family and social followers.

Positive word of mouth is the best form of advertising that exists today.

So, how do you evoke these emotions from your guests? How do you truly connect with them on a personal level?

There is a secret (and it’s not what you expect): EMPATHY.

What is empathy?

Empathy is “the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.”

We’ve also all heard the saying “put yourself in someone else’s shoes”, right? But what does it all actually mean?

According to Dr Brené Brown, a research professor and best-selling author, there are actually 3 key qualities of empathy that will help us understand it a bit more.

Empathy is:

1. The ability to take on someone else’s perspective or recognize that perspective as their truth
2. Non-judgement
3. Recognizing emotion in other people and then communicating that

So in terms of customer experience, empathy is all about understanding where your guests come from, what they might need, how they want to feel and then helping to create that for them from a place of empathy.

“Empathy drives connection” – Brené Brown

An example would be a young family who has come to stay at your hotel. Perhaps they mention that this is their first holiday as a family and that they’ve been saving up for the past year.

I’m sure we can all connect to what that feels like, right? 

So what do they expect? 

They want to make special memories together and they want value for their hard-earned money.

How do they want to feel?

Excited, relaxed and happy are just a few emotions that they may want to experience.

So how can you and your team create those emotions for them?

If you’re able to curate scenarios, experiences and services for them that will guarantee they leave your facility having felt those emotions, you will successfully have exceeded their expectations.

How do you instill empathy in your team?

Unfortunately, empathy is not something you can just train your team on and expect them to deliver. It is an intangible ability that comes from experience and self-awareness.

"In order to connect with your guests, your team needs to be able to connect with that same feeling in themselves."

So if your hotel guest is not feeling well, your staff need to be able to remember how they felt when they were sick and then act accordingly. 

Or if you have a couple visiting your restaurant celebrating their first wedding anniversary, your staff need to remember how they felt when they got married or fell in love and deliver their service accordingly.

This will show your guests that you understand how they’re feeling and that you care. And that is powerful.

So what should you do?

The best way to get your team to deliver their service with more empathy is through scenario-based training or role-playing, and coaching.

You have to give your team many examples and situations so that they understand exactly what you expect. Give them various guest cenarios and ask them to identify their desired emotions – what do those guests want and how do they want to feel?

Then ask your team to remember the last time they felt that way. What did they want?

This allows your team to make those connections. If a guest is old and frail, they can think of the time they broke their leg last summer and how frustrated/limited/slow/needy they felt. Or ask them how they would like their grandparents to be made to feel.

Then you have to observe your team on the floor and give direct feedback in a coaching style by asking them questions on what they did well or what they could do better next time.

It takes time and is a personal thing. Some are super connected to their emotions and will pick up this style of service quickly, others may need some more encouragement.

Stick with it and lead by example.

Empathy vs Sympathy

Now be careful not to mix up empathy with sympathy – these are two very different things.

• Sympathy = “I see your pain”
• Empathy = “I feel your pain”

When you are sympathetic, you are not taking on someone else’s perspective. You’re simply judging their perspective from your point view.

When you sympathize with a customer, you come across as insincere and drive that connection away.

People want to feel as if you understand them, that you get where they’re coming from. And this can only happen when you come from a place of empathy.